MLK Day Reflection

Disclaimer: This blog post only reflects my own thoughts and not the thoughts of any other entity.

"The time is always right to do what is right."-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

This quote and Dr. King's image circulated around the internet and my email today among various other quotes and reflections. I often worry: are we so used to sharing a graphic or message for a day to make sure we are keeping up with the expectations of our ever-digital lives that we are not taking the time to reflect and process what the occasion even represents? Or the implications of another excruciating, terrifying news headline. Or a triumphant/joyous occasion. Is it sinking in? Or are we just trying to keep up with the status quo?

I, unfortunately for my very tired brain, am not one who can let such events pass me by without spending at least a little bit of time mulling the significance over. Today, as I contemplated Dr. King's words, I thought of how the quote applies to any aspect of our lives. I also realized that one of the key ingredients to doing the right thing, and why we can struggle with it, is accountability.

If we take into account our personal accountability and consequences of our actions, we are more likely to make decisions, do things, and say things that have a positive outcome. But, we are human, we are not perfect, sometimes we react impulsively or without all necessary information to make informed decisions or say the right thing. Sometimes we make mistakes (shocker, I know). Being human can be messy and complicated.

So, what a gift for Dr. King to remind us that even when we do not do or say the right thing, we get the chance to go back and make it right. ANY TIME. Before we do/say the thing, after we did/said the thing. We always have the option to consider or take accountability for our words and actions. This can be a scary and daunting task for many, especially in instances when we acted or spoke in a way that we are not proud of. We can experience immense guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, and other activating emotions that prevent us from wanting to do the right thing in these instances. And yet, the words of the great Glennon Doyle come to mind, one of my many mantras, "We can do hard things."

So, here are some examples from personal experience, of how we can choose any time to be the right time to do the right thing, even after a blunder of whatever proportion:

• In regards to racial, societal, gender, etc. (in)equity and biases

  • From a more flattering lens: We don't always know what we don't know. Therefore, we sometimes do and say things because that was what we learned through conditioning, parenting, school, observation, etc.

    When we are confronted with a situation where we need to learn and do differently, we should take accountably and move forward accordingly.

    Better yet, in Dr. King's words, "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

  • Our country, in my non-expert opinion, struggles with this when it comes to matters of racism, sexism, classism, the patriarchy. We struggle to see ways in which our society, our systems, our biases have harmed groups of marginalized people. We struggle because we think if we admit fault, it makes us bad...and we

    can't be bad. But what if we say, hey, I see now how collective actions and the systems we have all been conditioned by are harmful to others. This does not mean I am bad or first-hand did a bad thing, but I do have to learn, adapt, change, and do better. We do not become inherently bad, but sometimes bad things are done. *Enter timing to do the right thing and make it right.*

• In family dynamics

  • At one point over the holidays, I spoke to my niece in a way that I instantly regretted. When she called last weekend to say hi (bless that sweet wild-child-unicorn-angel for wanting to call her auntie), I apologized for the way I spoke to her.

    • Her response of course was, "It's ok, Auntieeeee" in her sweetest voice. But I carried on, "No Vee, sometimes Auntie gets overwhelmed and overstimulated in certain situations but I still should not have spoken to you like that. I should have regulated my emotions better and I will try to do better next time. I love you and I'm sorry." "Auntie, it's okayyyyyy." She's 4...maybe a bit more than she comprehends, but honestly I do not think so. IMO--it's never too early to start teaching a little human that they can say when their feelings are hurt, or teach them that they will mess up but they get the chance to take accountably for their actions and apologize when necessary.

  • Also had a similar situation with my mom recently..man the holidays took a toll on my chill...but I'm making amends, having hard conversations, and taking accountability. *pats self on back*

• It's never too late to say to a friend, "Hey, I haven't been there for you lately in a way that I want to be. I'm sorry if you've needed support from me and I haven't been there for you. I would love to catch up and hear how I can better support you."

• We must also take stock of our interactions/words/tones in work settings.

  • This can almost feel harder or even more foreign than doing so with friends and family.. especially if we are struggling to take accountability or do the right thing with friends and family.

  • We deserve respectful, safe, empathetic, equitable, and accountable work environments

Once again, I have typed my little fingers out and sit here wondering...idk if any of this makes sense outside of my brain or in writing...sooooo...

In conclusion, there is much to be learned from Martin Luther King, Jr., but the depth and breadth of how this seemingly simple quote is interwoven into every facet of our lives, interactions, relationships, and experiences really struck me today. Adding the subject quote to my list of many mantras/quotes that help me navigate life. My goal is to always strive to act in a manner that reflects his words so I can hopefully help raise the vibration of our world even just the slightest bit.

Love and light, even in the darkness (don't get me started on that nugget of wisdom from Dr. King...“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”)

Other MLK wisdom https://www.nps.gov/mlkm/learn/quotations.htmhttps://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25936251/martin-luther-king-jr-quotes/

💗 Court